


A Secret Too Big To Keep

by hatersbrunch



Category: Batman - All Media Types, The LEGO Batman Movie (2017)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-08-21 09:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16573784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatersbrunch/pseuds/hatersbrunch
Summary: Joker and Batman have been in a "relationship" for a while it was usually the same routine, meet in a discreet location like an abandoned warehouse and have a nice date. This was a huge secret only the two of them knew about their romance. So let's find out what happens when the lovers' friends start noticing certain things different about them.





	1. Chapter 1

Bruce was usually very stubborn so it was a surprise to Alfred when he was being so cooperative for once when it came to getting his suit washed. Bruce usually used excuses like, "I don't want it to shrink!" or "I washed it myself already!".

He went up into his room to enjoy a little tv while Alfred did the laundry. While putting the batsuit into the dryer Alfred noticed a bright red lipstick mark near the facial area. He smiled thinking that Bruce had found himself a female love interest and went to go tease Bruce.

"Living the love life I see." Alfred said chuckling.

This took Bruce by surprise. "W-What do you mean?"

"I mean that there is a bright red smooch mark on your batsuit. Who is the lucky lass?"

Bruce froze for a second. "Its..uh a girl I met while fighting some crime," he lied.

Alfred was both amazed and stunned, "Well, I'm proud of you!" He said as he began to leave the room.

"Oh Alfred," Bruce said. "Do you mind keeping this a secret?"

_"Sure thing Master Bruce."_


	2. Mood Changes and Anxiety

Bruce lately seemed to be in a better mood than he usually was, not that he was ever always in a bad mood but, he just seemed to be more flexible and easier to get to smile. No one ever said anything about it or treated him differently they just adapted to it and thought it was just one of his phases. 

After the lipstick thing with Alfred, Bruce was also very uptight with Joker when it came to affection. It hurt both of their feelings but, it would be better when they were both comfortable with sharing their relationships and their gayness.

Harley already knew about Joker and Batman because Joker and Harley were gay gossip buddies, but he hadn’t shared it with the rest of the rogues yet. Batman on the other hand had told absolutely no one and the fact he couldn’t yet was killing him.  _Well...he could tell someone, he was just too scared...._ Yes, the cape crusader who throws himself in the face of danger every night was scared to tell his friends and family that he was gay. 

When he walked passed people he cared about thoughts crossed his mind like: W _hat if they judge me? What if they all leave me here by myself?_ Those thoughts were always echoing in his head. He hated it, maybe one day he could gather up the courage to tell them. (But it sure isn’t next chapter)


	3. AUTHORS NOTE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read

WHOS EXCITED FOR CHRISTMAS THEMED BATMAN/JOKER SIDE STORIES. I know you guys probably want some more A Secret Too Big to keep but I love my holidays too.

-Fern aka the author


	4. A Special Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Joker receives a note from Batman for a special date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY HECK 208 READS. THANKS I FEEL SO POPULAR! GUESS I WILL MAKE MORE CHAPTERS.  
> Also this is a story on my main storyline.

Joker woke up with a big grinned Harley in his face. Joker blinked a few times then noticed her and fell out of his bed. She was holding a note that was shaped like a bat and had black writing on it. Joker quickly snatched the note and his eyes widened as he quickly read over it. 

The note read

_Would you like to go on a date with me to a special location for a date. It won't be the same as usual. If you are coming meet me at our usual date spot 12 o'clock._

_-Batman_

"Did you read this?" Joker smiled at Harley.

"Yes!" She replied with just as much energy her green haired friend gave at her.

"I wonder where he is taking me. Maybe to the batc-"

"We don't have time for wondering! We need to get you ready its 11 o'clock right now!" Harley interrupted.

Joker looked at the time, Harley was right. He quickly went into the bathroom to freshen up and came out just in time to leave. 

"Good luck!" Harley shouted as he left out of the door.

Joker walked into the abandon building and it was pitch black. He assumed that Batman would have at least been right in front of the door. Then he felt a blindfold cover him and got knocked out.


	5. Wow, Just Wow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman and Joker finally go on their long waited date but will it go as planned?

Joker sat up in a chair, he wasn't tied down but instead at a table with a nice candle lit in the middle. He figured this was the date and sat patiently waiting for someone to show up. He was not aware he was in the Batcave.

Bruce Wayne (YES HE WAS NOT IN THE BATMAN COSTUME) walked into the batcave holding two plates that looked like it had steak on it. He gasped seeing Joker awake and sitting up staring at him with wide eyes.

"Oh, I did not expect you to wake up so quickly." Bruce said.

"Bruce Wayne has kidnapped me and invited me to dinner!" Joker gave a huge smile.

"Oh well uh..its not exactly like that."Bruce sighed.

Joker stared at him blankly.

"I'm Bat-" 

Just then the door opened and Robin walked in the Batcave. "Padre we need to buy more-" Dick's eyes went over to Joker then to Bruce. He waved politely at Joker and Jay waved back. "I'll just ask BatDad. Where is he?"

"I think he is doing a patrol of the city." 

Dick nodded and left.

Joker glared at Bruce. "Batman is cheating on me..with YOU!" 

Bruce frowned. "No! Its not like that, I AM Batm-"

"Just look at you, you live in a sad mansion. Who know what spiders are in here."

"Joker I am Bat-"

"You probably don't even know his favourite color! It is black! I will-"

Bruce was now irritated, "Joker! I AM Batman!"

Joker stared at him, his face made the same expressions that are in that one confused math lady meme.

"I wanted to tell you sooner but I was afraid that-"

Joker got up, hugged Bruce then ran out of the Batcave all the way home.

Bruce felt horrible but there was nothing to feel horrible about. 

 

 


	6. What Would A Gay Clown Want For Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Batman tries to pick a gift for Joker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's December that means stories about Winter off from my storyline!! ALSO 500 HITS SKSKSKSK!

Bruce Wayne casually cruised through Wal-Mart. He needed a gift for the Joker, its what boyfriends do. Right? 

He didn't know what to get him though. He made list and EVEN ATTEMPTED TO READ JOKER'S DIARY. Joker was very upset with him after that but later forgave him. Bruce thought long and hard as he looked at each of the isles.

"What would I get a gay clown?"was not a phrase he thought he would say. 

Bruce stumbled upon the makeup isle which made him think to get Joker a new lipstick. Unfortunately, Joker had every shade of red lipstick imaginable. He then took a look at some face paint, but what shade of white did Joker wear? Bruce thought even harder, THEN IT HIT HIM!

Literally, a bratty little girl threw a rainbow colored lipstick at Bruce's head. The mom quickly apologized and he told there was nothing to apologize for. 

Rainbow lipstick was the perfect thing. He quickly purchased it despite the judgemental stare of the cashier who looked a lot like the Riddler but that is for another day.

Alfred raised an eyebrow at the sight of Bruce wrapping a lipstick. Bruce claimed it was for Barbara so the butler went along with it. 

When Bruce was done wrapping the gift in bright green wrapping paper he put it in his room. "Now I wait for Christmas."


	8. REALLY IMPORTANT

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important

This is on hiatus until further notice. I'm sorry, I have been having writers block and I dont wanna keep giving you guys stories with little effort.

-Fern


End file.
